In a forgotten land there echos a legend. A legend that has been passed down from generation to generation. It all started in a quite boring place, in fact a very boring place. That place was Axle’s house. Axle’s house wasn’t that elegant but by no means dull. He had all his video game systems all hooked up to one T.V. in his room, he just got off the “new” shoutbox and was ready to settle down and watch TBS’ tuesday marathon of the Office. Axle loved the Office, especially Dwight.
“I wonder what the Scranton Branch is up to today…hmm maybe it is the episode where Stanley has a heart attack!” I jumped up and down with glee. He walked over to the television set and sat down on his sofa. Man, he was excited. Little did he know that what was about to happen would change his life for ever.
Axle was quite happy with the way he lived. A quiet life with many things to do. This was his favorite episode, and his favorite dinner was about to be delivered, two California rolls and some Miso soup, good stuff. He heard a knock at his door. Axle got up lazily and walked to the door, and opened it.
In the door way was a middleaged man, Axle didn’t know him. “Who the heck are you?” The man looked at him his clothes were those of a voyager, think Red Mage from Final Fantasy 1. “You ask my name? Some call me the Enforcer, some call me Dirty Harry, some the Man with no Name…” Axle looked at him with an expression of what the heck. “So your a Clint Eastwood fan?” The man looked at him, “No these names are totally original…about 20 years ago. Just call me the Hero of Music!”
“Can I call you HoM?” asked Axle. “Sure, you’ll need to call me by something. We are going to be adventuring, afterall.” said HoM in a Clint Eastwood-esque voice. “Okay, seriously don’t imitate the Clint Eastwood. Second of all adventuring? Where are we adventuring toward?” asked Axle starting to get antsy. “We are going to the Kingdom of Whatzitsname!” said HoM in his regular voice now. “Whatzitsname? Where’s that?” Asked Axle beastly. “It is far beyond the sea of absolution and if you hit the Iron Maiden album Somewhere in Time you’ve gone too far.” Axle looked confused. “Who’s writing this anyway?” asked Axle.
They both looked up and saw a 14 year old with an Iron Maiden shirt typing on the computer. “What the heck?” shouted Axle. “Ummm…let’s just go now!” whispered HoM, and with that they walked out into the rainy night. It was a full moon and they both saw a barrier, and beyond that barrier there was natural light, lit by the great Mases’ posts on Zelda Dungeon. HoM opened the barrier and led Axle inside.
Somethig strange happened then, a giant CD-I Zelda game fell from the sky and onto Axle’s head, “Ow! What was that?” yelled Axle. HoM looked up at the sky and an LCD Zelda hit his nose, “Just as I suspected, we are in Dark Masters territory. He constantly makes it rain REAR SELDA’s.” Axle dodged a few Faces of Gamelon and heard a voice fill the air, “You dare enter my lair, you must DIE!” screamed a mysterious voice that filled the air, it suddenly got more humid.
“That was the voice of the DARKMASTER himself! We must fly!” screamed HoM. Axle looked confused, “Wait are we actually flying…or are we just running fast?” HoM sighed heavily, and then took out the whistle of Melodytunesound and started to play a whimsical tune. A blue pegusus flew down from the floating woods of FOREST (Where the great Sarianae originated from and where Beeker was first discovered). The Pegusus was a gift from Athenian of Athens with her wisdom and her bribing of Justin came to them.
They both got on and Axle looked quite frightened, as HoM later put it “Like watching yourself get beat in a Brawl tourney by Sonic’s final smash.” The further they flew the more disgruntled DARKMASTER got, when DARKMASTER finally hit his limit he sent his flying Redobears after him. When they flew out of DARKMASTERS floating castle of DOOM!!!!1 Axle looked behind them,”Uhh…Hommy…buddy. There are like flying Red bears after us…FREAKING FLYING BEARS!” The Great Hero of Music looked, his face in awe, “Redobears we must fly faster!”
In the morning, they were tired and beat. Their royal steed perished, the Redobears ate him, omnomnom. They were forced to walk, they didn’t know which territory they were in but, thank God they weren’t being rained on by REAR SELDAS. They didn’t know which land they were in exactly, but HoM knew they were either in PT”s Kingdom or FD’s trololol time realm. They didn’t want to be in either.
A two castles grew in the distance, they were moving (lol not Howles moving castle). They seemed like they were battling. “Could it be? The troll wars are still going?” HoM said to himself. Axle squinted his eyes and saw Majora’s Cat sword fighting with 425 and PhantomTriforce and Feirce Deity (Derpdederp, Erebea yeah I’ll tell this story later). The Cannons were shooting out emoticons. FD’s was shooting out and PhantomTriforce’s was shooting out intense Inorite?
“On with PT down with General MC and Captain FD!” 425 was screaming, he got a face full of . Majora’s Cat shouted at the top of his lungs, “Why is that women making soup? BECAUSE YOU CAUSED HER TOO!” and that FD jumped onto PT’s castle and PT jumped onto FD’s Castle. They looked at each other and jumped over to their respective castles. It didn’t take long for HoM and Axle to realize no one was getting hurt so they walked past it all and went to the next realm.
The next realm was totally Grean and the sound of Iron Maiden and Metallica filled the air. This was the informal brotherhoods realm. “Informal Brotherhood? Azure Sage, Ganondork, and ToeFisch?” asked Axle, “Since when did ZD become reality?” HoM looked at Axle, he was so incompetant. “Why ever since the great admins decided long ago for it too be young moderator.” laughed teh almighty HoM. “The great Admins? You mean Mosley, Justin, and Mases?” Axle inquired, “Why of coarse!” replied HoM.
Azure Sage walked up to them and said,”Axle? The Axle? And HoM? Hommy buddy? I’m so excited! Let me go get Ganondork!” Axle had a face of pure terror,”Ganondork…” said Axle. Ganondork burst out of no where and gave Axle a noogie. “Hey, BFFL! You cut your mane! Not cool man not cool.” Ganondork fanboi’d. Tony came out he was listening to Iron Maiden like always. “How did Axle and HoM get here? How did you get passed the Troll Wars?” inquired Tony. HoM looked at them like they were vermin,”It’s quite simple, Mr. Fischer. Just do not feed the trolls!” Axle laughed a little. “Do you mond?” laughed Tony. Axle burst out laughing, “Yes I do mond!” Ganondork and Azure laughed.
“Well, we have other things to attend to, please take some food and drink,” They all said in unison and bowed. Out of the sky fell the Informal Sisterhood. Sarianae, Mandym, and Beeker made up the Informal Sisterhood, “Nerm,” said Mandy. Sarianae expression was =D. Beekah laughed and threw a pokeball at Axle. Axle jumped a little. “Well we really should be on our way…” whispered HoM. And with that they left.
HoM and Axle were almost at their destination, where ever that may be. They reached the Sea of Absolution. They each grabbed a walrus and the Iron Maiden song, Infinite Dreams played in the background. It was a nice tune. They rode their walruses in the icy sea, the sea was very surreal. At a distance it looked like ice but upfront it looked like clear water. A wild Moosh flew throught the air with Jake(The Green) riding it.
They landed on the island of Whatzitsname, the ground looked like ZD’s logo. A person in a hood stood in the center holding a tresure chest. Axle and Hommy walked out and strolled up to the man. The man took his hood off and he was Mases. “Hello, I am Mases Hagopian of Zelda Du-” Mases was interupted. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know who you are why have you called us here?” said HoM. “Very well, open the chest,” The Great Hero of Music nudged Axle forword. Axle oppened the chest. “Nothing? There’s nothing?” He was confuzzled.
“I am not Mases! I am his evil clone made by the blood of Kybyrian with the forbidden words of, No u inscribed in my blood!” Sesam grew a twisted smile and unshethed a twisted dagger. Axle pulled out hi-…sorry I Tony the narrator had to do something for a second. “Tell the damn story!” screamed Axle. Well then! I never thought you would be so rude! “Just keep narrating we already know what happens!” cried HoM! How DARE you spoile the ending! That’s it! Spoilerz.
Axle drew the Master Sword HoM drew an Ocarina and Started to play a song. “Your going down Sesam!” shouted Axle. “In your Wildest Dreams!…Oh mister narrator please change the song to the Trooper! Picky Picky! Fine I will play the Trooper. Sesam and Axle started to sword fight. Clash, bam, kerrang! “By the Power of Mases I smite thee!” screamed Axle. Axle stabed Sesam. “Curse you…Axle! Curse you…HoM! Curse you…Mases!” and with that Sesam was banned for now.
Mases decended down from the heavans and said, “You really saved my hide there Axle! I grant you modship!” Axle smiled. HoM smiled too. “well what do we do now?” asked Axle. Mases nodded and Axle was back in his house watching the Office. The Anger management episode.